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Couple Counselling

Making Connections is about strengthening relationships.

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At home: You know that you value your partner or spouse more than anyone.  Much of the time things are going so well that you think you have a great relationship.  Then you have a conflicting situation and you really don’t feel like you are being heard.  How can there be so much love and yet feel so misunderstood or ignored?  There must be another way to get my message across and be heard?

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Do any of the following sound familiar to you?

  • You are happy with your relationships at home and yet you seem to have similar arguments about little issues and you are not sure how to resolve these conflicts.
  • You find it hard to make decisions around the relationship because you want to be sure they are right for you and your partner and family.
  • You find you can’t seem to be heard.  You don’t know how to “get your message across” without raising your voice or being hurtful.
  • Sometimes you question if you are compatible with your partner, given the conflicts that never seem to be fully resolved.

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All of these challenges are common and there are effective steps anyone can take that improve communication and strengthen relationships. .

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Read How we work for the little details of our Coaching and Counselling

Or to ask any question Contact Us  by email

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To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home

N.L.P. Neuro Linguistic Programming

N.L.P. (Neuro Linguistic Programming)

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Both Briar Willard and Luigi Pameijer are Master NLP Practitioners

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What is NLP

NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming.  Neuro = of the brain, Linguistic = using language and programming because the changes are at the systemic level and are long lasting.

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NLP is a a method of working precisely with language that defines the patterns that lead to what you want or what you want to change.

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NLP is a practical modality, based on observation of behaviors.  Simply it involves watching the patterns of behavior and trying new approaches or choices until you get the result that you are after.  Each person is unique and yet by observing others who have succeeded in what you want to do, you can model their strategies and shorten the trial and error stage by modeling successful strategies.

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Success leaves of trail of evidence.  Modelling someone who is succeeding can provide a shortcut to similar results. Though it’s not only modelling the obvious things that they are doing, it is also modeling their way of thinking and feeling about what they are doing.

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If you have ever been blown away because of doing something better than you knew you could.  Did you ever think, “I wonder how I did that?”  NLP will help you find patters to reach that sweet spot consistently.

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NLP can help you find the patterns of your success, so you can model your own successes. It is a way of discovering the magic behind your own personal genius, and consistently being your best.  Most professional athletes have Coaches who use NLP so that they trust that they can count on producing their best results.  Counsellors and Hypnotherapists are also using the power of NLP in their work for lasting results.

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NLP is the pursuit of excellence and can help you to find the difference that makes the difference for  you in your personal life, business life and other pursuits.

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If you would like to take the next step, book in for a session.

To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below

or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home

Physical symptoms of stress

Some positive stress is actually good for us.
That’s right there is such a thing as positive stress…

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If we had no stress at all, we would be totally and utterly bored.  Excitement and engagement with something creates some positive stress.  Some stress, in small quantities, can actually heighten our thinking and our abilities to push beyond our ordinary boundaries.

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Of course, these are not the stresses we are trying to manage.  When we talk of stress, we usually mean dis-stress, which can cause many of the following symptoms:

•    Low energy.
•    Headaches.
•    Upset stomach, including diarrhoea, constipation, and nausea.
•    Aches, pains, and tense muscles.
•    Chest pain and rapid heartbeat.
•    Insomnia.
•    Frequent colds and infections.
•    Loss of sexual desire and/or ability.

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Learning to manage distress is part of emotional intelligence.  Some people have a natural ability to be less stressed, yet we all needed to learn how to navigate the stressors in our life.  Many of us didn’t have great role modelling on how to manage stress well or how to let go of unhelpful thinking.

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I believe that most people who are suffering with stress are missing some effective skills to change their way of thinking and feeling around their stress.  They feel that stress is the enemy, when in fact it is our warning system that can be stuck in the ON position.

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If you would like to take the next step, book in for a session.

To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below

or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home

Managing Stress / building confidence

Personal problems that can cause stress

Are you asking yourself how you can reduce your stress?

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Stress-management is often on people’s mind because modern life is full of stressors. We have all heard about the health risks of being overly stressed and that stress is in epidemic proportions in most cities in the world.  There is a great deal written about stress management.

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The bottom line is not the avoidance of stress, as that is impossible, it’s the management of our reactions and how it impacts us.

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It’s not as if there is only one type of stress.  If you are a teenager your stress can come from a larger range of issues including: your families’ stresses and parent’s marriage break-ups, performing at school, in exams and assignments, fitting in and bullying, body image and relationship pressures, to name just a few.

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As an adult stress can come from even more areas, as there is often the added stress of being responsible for others which adds to the personal stressors. How we manage some stresses will have a domino effect on other stressors.  The causes of stress are complex.

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Yet, the steps to feeling less stressed is actually quite simple, regardless of the causes.  It’s not easy yet it’s simple.  There are definite things you can do to reduce stress.

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There are also techniques that you can learn to reduce your stress levels.   Each person will develop a personal de-stress strategy, yet some things are useful across the board.

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Stress can become chronic and occasionally obsessive, possibly leading to anxiety symptoms that make it hard to deal with stress at home or at work.

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Being able to handle stress at work is very important, as working daily under stressful condition without any stress management skills, can lead to a desire to quit and withdraw.

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At our clinic, our main stress reduction method is through advanced hypnotherapy. Unhealthy stress is often driven from feelings and memories in the subconscious mind.

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Talk therapy can be very helpful to give us insights to the issues behind the stress.  To relieve stress longer term the unconscious part of the mind will need new information.  Hypnotherapy can be for only a few sessions and reduce stress for good.

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If dis-stress is part of your family’s way of coping, you may want to have one or two sessions which resolve issues at the systemic level.  If your workplace has great turn over for people who are hired for your position, it could require a systemic solution.  Luckily one can do systemic work alone with the practitioner and not involve any other person.

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There is one stress-reduction method we use and teach at Making Connections,   This method reprograms the mind to let go of the stressor.  It is so effective that we teach it to most of our clients.

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If you would like to take the next step, book in for a session.

To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below

or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home

Want to Stop using Marijuana

Marijuana Case study of Peter:

Let me tell you about Peter, he used to smoke marijuana socially with friends when he was younger and he felt he could stop at any time. 

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Then one day he realised that he was smoking marijuana even when he was on his own, not just with friends.  He still thought he could just stop when he wanted.  Then he started to realise that he was thinking of his smokes to relax at the end of the day and on week-ends. In fact he was thinking about it any time he was stressed and it was getting in the way of other things that he wanted to do.

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Peter was an ambitious person in business, but instead of getting to the things he wanted and needed to do, increasingly he was smoking instead.  His dreams were drifting away in smoke, quite literally.

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Then one day, Peter realised that he was at the start of his work life and career.  He needed to do the work if he was to get the success he knew he could have.  So, he booked in to quit smoking marijuana.

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Now Peter is a non smoker of all weeds and is setting up a number of successful business ventures.  He has a clear head for what needs doing.  It has helped in a number of areas in his life and there’s no looking back!

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If you find that you have been seduced into becoming a regular or even periodic marijuana smoker and you would like to stop for good, then you have come to the right place.

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I have helped a number of people to stop smoking marijuana.

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To be successful at quitting the important things to remember are:
  • You need to really want to stop smoking marijuana.  Be clear about the fact that you will stop and be sure you are ready for that step forward.
  • To help you I will need to know what causes you smoke, the times, places the things you are doing or feeling (like stress) that lead you to want a smoke.
  • I will ask you all the reason why you want to stop smoking now.
  • You will also need to clean up your environment from ALL smoking paraphernalia and your thinking from all triggers to smoke.

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I am keen to help people to quit smoking both cigarettes and marijuana.   In this Quit program we will be working together to have an effective outcome.  It’s so much easier when you work as a team member.

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I look forward to hearing from you.  Please fill out the form or send me an e-mail from the Contact page.

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If you would like to take the next step, book in for a session.

To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below

or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home

Binge-drinking

What is binge-drinking?

So, you may ask, what is the binge drinking definition? One common definition is actually easy to understand. “the consumption of an excessive amount of alcohol in a short period of time.”

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You could easily argue that excessive is a relative term and what is excessive to one is not to another.  Yet, most of us would agree that if the drinking is harming your health, your relationships and/or your ability to make rational decisions, then it is excessive.

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Most people who come to our clinic about binge drinking do so because it is harming their relationships and family.  They are drinking enough to harm the way they are communicating with their partner and children.  The rest of the family is fed up with the affects of the drinking on everyone.

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If this is happening to you then it is good that you are ready to seek help.  Trying to stop binge drinking without help is very difficult and often unsuccessful.  The drives to drink are one of the strongest addictions that we have.  People often forget that alcohol is a drug and can be very addictive to some people, especially in times of stress.  The problem is that the drinking itself can be the greatest causes of relationship stress, which then leads to more drinking and the person is trapped in a vicious circle of drinking and regret.

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Many of our binge drinkers believe that they will be stuck there for ever.  Some have seen others ill or even die from alcohol and they fear the same fate.

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The good news is that there are ways that don’t depend on willpower to reduce or stop drinking all together.  Believe it or not quitting drink is easier than reducing the drink.

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With hypnotherapy the person’s drive to drink can be turned off or diverted to something that they want.  Basically that person is helped to turn the switch off to wanting to drink.

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A person can also choose to reduce their drinking, through hypnotherapy.

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Of course whether it is giving up all together or reduction, there are issues below the drinking that will need to also be addressed.  This is often a liberating process of letting go to things that have been oppressive, for quite some time.  New strategies are developed of what to replace the binge-drinking with and then reinforced in hypnotherapy sessions.

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Most people are able to significantly reduce their alcohol in the first session.  With reinforcements of only a few more sessions the person may be free from the drive to drink or overdrink.

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If you would like to take the next step, book in for a session.

To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below

or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home

Reducing Alcohol

Has alcohol got the better of you?

Is it time to stop?

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Case Study: Alan came to see me one day after making an appointment mentioning that he had wanted to stop drinking. During the session he had told me that on the way home from work he would regularly drop in on the bottle drive through and pick up a slab and a bottle of rum. On the way home he would crack open the rum and have a a couple of swigs. By the time the night was out he had drunk half a bottle of rum and the whole slab of beer himself. He realised he was becoming an alcoholic and he wanted to change, He said his work and social life was suffering.

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After a couple of sessions he had noticed changes in his behaviour and was very happy with his new way of being. He had significantly reduced the amount of alcohol he was drinking, and the knock on effect was that things at work had improved as did his social life.

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Do you want to be in control of your own choices again, and is it time to start to live your life that way that you want to live?

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If you answered yes here then it could be time for you to make that call and book in a session with me.

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If you would like to take the next step, book in for a session.

To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below

or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home

Breaking Bad Habits

Breaking bad habits for good, including quitting smoking, gambling and binge drinking
Quit smoking cigarettes
Binge drinking
Smoking Marijuana
Gambling
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Are you struggling with some bad habits, you’d like to know what they are and how to get rid of them? 
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What are bad habits?

Bad habits are patterns of behaviors that we would like to stop.

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We formed a habit because when we started it, it made us feel better.

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The behaviour can varied like biting our nails, pulling our hair, cracking our knuckles or overeating certain foods, drinking too much alcohol, smoking or a large number of other other compulsive behaviours.

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Why are most habits so hard to break?

People with embarrassing or destructive behaviours would like to stop. But using willpower alone to stop, is rarely successful. Because willpower comes from the conscious mind and a much larger part of our mind, around 85%, is the subconscious part and it still thinks that the bad habits helps to relieve stress.

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When we have bad habits, we find ourselves doing them as soon as we stop being vigilant about stopping. And it’s hard to be vigilant all of the time and it takes a great deal of energy.

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Time to reprogram the mind. It’s not as hard as you might think.

It is surprisingly simple to re-program the mind to stopping a bad habit for good. In fact, it can take only one or two sessions to reprogram the subconscious through hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming and the habit is often gone forever.

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We teach our clients healthy ways to manage stress. These techniques you can do anywhere and anytime.  You will be able to do them to return to calm and let go of the stress.

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People with bad habits often have a number of positive associations with doing their bad habit.  To let go of a bad habit we might need to learn how to replace the habit with something that is more desireable and healthy.  Once we have chosen this new habit that we want, in the conscious mind, hypnotherapy can put the same idea into the subconscious mind so that you are now of one mind about the habit and quit the old one and replace it with a desirable habit instead.

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What next:

If you have any questions about habits and breaking habits, please feel free to contact Briar or Luigi and we will be happy to answer those questions.

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If you would like to take the next step, book in for a session.

To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below

or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home

Breaking Bad Habits that are Unhealthy or Embarrassing You.

What are bad habits?

Bad habits are patterns of behaviors that don’t make us happy any longer.

We start doing a behaviour because when we started it, it made us feel better.

The behaviour can be biting our nails, pulling our hair, cracking our knuckles or doing things we know make us unhealthy: overeating ‘junk’ foods, drinking too much alcohol, smoking or any other compulsive behaviour.

Let’s take Annie who bights her nails. Annie began biting her nails when she was 5, when her parents were breaking up. Annie started to bight her nails when she was stressed about the split and felt powerless.   She found some relief from her stress from biting her nails. Somehow it distracted her for a short time from her stressful situation.

Fast forward to today. Annie’s a successful executive who is in charge of a company. She feels embarrassed about the fact that she still bights her nails (which anyone looking at her hands can see). Despite feeling powerful in other areas of her life, Annie seems powerless to give up biting her nails. Instead of relieving stress, biting her nails is now a source of stress.   So, why doesn’t she just stop doing it?

Why are many habits so hard to break?

Annie consciously would like to stop biting her nails. She tries to use her willpower to stop. Yet, the much larger part of her mind around 85%, her subconscious mind, still thinks that biting her nails helps to relieve stress. When she concentrates on not biting her nails, she can stop herself from doing it. Yet, as soon as she isn’t paying attention and is stressed she unconsciously goes back to biting her nails.   She tried many things to stop the habit, from painting her finger nails with chili polish and as soon a the taste was gone, she was back to her old habit.

As long as she subconscious thinks that biting her nails will relieve her stress, she will keep biting them. Just like most of us who have bad habits, we find ourselves doing them again and again, when we stop being vigilant about stopping. And it’s a hard thing to be vigilant all of the time. In fact it takes a great deal of energy to be on guard all the time to stop a bad habit. Annie had decided that biting her nails was her lot in life and she gave up trying to stop and made jokes about it instead.

Time to reprogram the mind. It’s not as hard as you might think.

The good news is, that it is not very difficult to re-program the mind to stopping a bad habit for good. In fact, it can take only one or two sessions to reprogram the subconscious mind through hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming and the habit can be gone forever.

It’s important to make sure you have other strategies to manage stress that don’t involve your bad habit, so you don’t substitute one bad habit for another. In Annie’s case we don’t want her to stop biting her nails and then start drinking alcohol to manage her stress.

Giving up a bad habit is not hard, what might take a little time is to be in touch with all the benefits that you get from the habit and be sure to replace that with something you prefer, consciously and then in hypnosis introduce the same ideas the subconscious, so that you are now of one mind about the habit and quit the old one and replace it with a desirable habit instead.

What next:

If you have any questions about habits and breaking habits, please feel free to ring Briar or Luigi and we will be happy to answer those questions.

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If you would like to take the next step, book in for a session.

To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below

or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home

Business Relationships

Business relationships are vital to business success and yet can be so tricky and hard to manage

 

Business relationships have much in common with our other relationships, yet a few important rules that are different.  Not respecting those rules can be very costly to you and the business. Many people find it difficult to understand the rules of work relationships and this can cause conflict and stress in the workplace. 

 

After years of both working with personal and business relationships, I’ve discovered that there are some ways to make relating at work easier and more effective, without either giving away the farm or being too rigid.  I’m a trained negotiator and mediator and find that those skills are invaluable to my business clients developing effective communications.

If you are a business owner you will know the stresses that come from poor working relationships be it with your staff, clients or colleagues.  When working on those relationships it is important to remeber the general rules of relationships as well as the rules that govern business relationships. 

This is key to developing a strategy that will make for strong working bonds into the future.  After all, we all like our clients, staff and others to be speaking highly of us.  It’s not always about having raving fans, even though that’s nice too. 

 

The truth is that you have unique business issues that may require a blend of different skills and experience if you are to reveal the underlying causes behind how you are relating at work and what is holding you or your business back from success and developing new solutions.

 

It’s ok to put up your hand and get the help that you need: you and your issues require some specilized knowledge that can really make a difference quickly. Solutions that let you be true to your values and honours your needs to make a profit as well. You don’t have to choose between what your heart says and the bottom line. In fact, they can actually support one another if the business relationships are well managed.

You have probably tried working harder, more hours and virtually live at your work.  Your family and friends complain that you are never there.  Even when you are there physically, you are thinking about work. Every solution that you have tried seems to give you more, not less work to do.

The goal at Making Connections, Business Coaching is for you to find harmony and balance between your private and business life, in such a way that all can grow and develop to be strong in their own right

We work with individuals or with a couple of people at the same time (let’s say two managers who work together). 

I will see you every couple of weeks to start with and determine by the first session a strategy for you to start working with.  When you come back from working with this new strategy we will see if it needs some tweeking or is working as planned. You will come to sessions as long as you feel that you are getting heaps of value from the sessions and you can see tangible results.

Business Relationship Coaching sessions cost

AUD $170 per hour (plus GST in Australia). 

The first session is usually 2hrs as there is history to cover, after that 1 hr sessions are sufficient and occasional 30 minute catch up calls are also available. Sessions are either in person at our clinic, over the phone or Skype.

If you have any questions or would like to book in a session, please Contact Us or give us a ring on 0412 138 284 and we can get started.

To make a booking through our online booking system click the button below or paste the link into your browser.

http://makingconnections.gettimely.com/#home



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would like to make a booking please contact us by email using
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ABOUT US

Speak with someone who has training and experience in moving through the types of issues you are facing. Reliable support for you to take charge of all aspects of your life with someone who is detached from your issues and committed to seeing you succeed based on your values and situation.

A safe space to develop your vision for yourself and your work, get clear on your top values and how to make effective decisions quickly and help focus on your highest values and priorities.

NEXT STEP

This is an important step, so you will want to feel confident with your choice, comfortable and trusting of the person that you choose to help you.

Contact us for a complimentary 15 minutes consultation, so that we can discuss ways that we can support you to get the breakthrough that you seek.

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